Depression is blind chemistry and physics, like snow. And like the weather, it is a mindless process, powerful and unpredictable, with great potential for harm. But that doesn’t mean we are helpless. If we want to stop losing so many people to this disease, it will require action at every level.
She was a firecracker.
A compassionate, intelligent, and driven woman, my mom was nothing short of unstoppable. Her whole life was a series of achievements, hard work, caring for others, and leaving a beautiful, unmistakable glow wherever she went.
It was AP exam season. I was sleep-deprived, stressed and burnt-out. In addition to devoting hours to studying for AP exams, I was managing my workload from other classes and crumbling under the pressure of an upcoming international table tennis tournament.
I once wondered why depression, among many other things, was referred to as a “mental illness,” as if it’s a cold or the flu. But eventually it started to make sense. The ache I feel in my chest, the head spinning, the shortening of breath. I feel sick.
I am a survivor of a suicide attempt. I am also someone who, at times, feels the pull for the peace of death due to the pain, nightmares and memories that I live with.